10. “Black Magic Woman” – VCTRYS
9. “The Devil Does Drugs” – My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
8. “Psychedelic Sacrifice” – Electric Hellfire Club
It’s also wise to couch sacrifice talk in urban legend terms. Your aunt knew someone who listened to INXS’s “The Devil Inside” and was overcome with the spirit of Satan enough to murder a busload of nuns, but of course the Vatican is covering it up because that would be bad press for the Catholic Church. Urban legend + conspiracy = excellent moral panic fodder!
7. “Let’s Have a Satanic Orgy” – Twin Temple
And, yes, you’ll need to view the video on YouTube since it has rubber hose style animated nudity. If you don’t want to see nudity, don’t watch the video or look at the bare back of the girl pictured. But if you like nudity and rubber hose animation in the style of Cuphead, then by all means watch it!
6. “Cannibalism Buffet” – Aurelio Voltaire with Ooky Spooky
For as little cannibalism as there is in the world, it seems there are a lot of people willing to take a bite. And usually these stories spread under the guise of “keeping children safe” as with most moral panics. So, if you want to spice up your local Satanic Panic for the PTA, add in a story of cannibalism.
5. “Transvestites Can Be Cannibals Too” – Harley Poe
Lately, they are hitting up community events featuring drag performers, and while drag has always been a soft target for CPACs, it has become a defining one in community centers, libraries, churches, and schools where drag performers have been working with children to help them understand that it is okay to feel and be different than to world expects. Even a hint at some sense of gender non-conformity is enough to get the PTA lighting their tiki torches to join in a white power rally against a library learning hour for children hosted by a drag queen.
The pump is already primed for a Satanic Panic on this point.
4. “Ouija” – lil sleepy
So pick up a Hasbro Ouija board and find a good gnarled stick in the woods and let your inner wizard scare the hell out of the PTA. Bonus points if you take it to a PTA-organized game night.
3. “Blasphemous Rumors” – Angelzoom
2. “The Heresy” – MUSHROOMHEAD
And there are a million topics that people have holy opinions on, and countering them will not change their minds. It will make them dig in and defend the often indefensible even more. But the real secret is that people are also innately hypocritical in their beliefs, so it is easy to corner them and get them frothing at the mouth with only a little provocation. That’s why old people like Facebook. We can scream rabidly at each other and make petty arguments. The PTA is cut from the same cloth.
1. “Kids in America” – The Muffs
Concerned legislators and PTA parents don’t need your help to come up with a moral panic. But it can be fun to distract them with one. Think of it as a little treat for you.